Some people asked for this: 8 things you should never say to your bartender. Technically, this should be 8 things you should never say to a bartender. If he/she's your bartender, you can get away with saying them, but you should expect spit in your drink... and you should be greatful to drink it.
1. What should I have?
2. Surprise me!
3. Make it strong.
4. Want to hear a joke?
5. What's going on in town tonight?
6. A twist of lime.
7. Olive Stuffed with bleu Cheese [OH! Some POS gave me one of these in A.C. without my knowing... I had a spit take on the bar and nearly vomitted.]
8. This vodka martini isn't dry enough
But two nights ago as I'm sipping my club soda talking about standard deviation, someone approaches the bar and says something which I'm sure would be in the appendix of the list. I felt bad for publicly shaming the guy for acting as such, but after he got carded he begins, "I have a drink in mind... equal parts blah blah blah..." at which point I respond something to the effect of, "yeah, hey Kim, can I have a drink with equal parts fresh mint, chianti and tomato puree... and make it dirty."
It's our bar. MBA's, I don't care if you're wrapping up your semester and you're the future big swinging dicks of the Hartford/Stamford insurance scene. That's fine, but, boy, if you haven't learned bar etiquette by now, you might as well save your breath, order a cosmo, let me laugh at you for that, too... because your boss sure as hell will.
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