Epiphanies and ice cream

"Against the nature, against the grain. For as long and as far as you can." -Gogol Bordello

Fighting the good fight, which always seems against the nature and against the grain.

I haven't had an epiphany in a while, but I could sure use one. They're helpful, they're motivational, and I've heard they're good sprinkled on top of egg nog. And I'm not talking major epiphany here. I'm talking, like, a "no shit?" epiphany. Like "dogs can't look up" or "elephants can't jump" or "assesses is composed of more than 50% 's'." I'm not going to turn away one of those "your life has meaning" or "you're doomed to live and die alone" kind of epiphanies either. I'm willing to acknowledge on a practical/functional/utilitarian level that we're all searching for meaning in our lives, and I'm pretty sure we need a balanced diet of personal discoveries. Eating the entire pint of Ben and Jerry's. Having a salad every now and then. Get the 6oz. filet instead of the 10oz. Cutting the Maker's Mark with a little club soda... whatever it takes. At this point, as I dreamt last night, I could use a swig of isopropyl. Just a taste of epiphany, I won't complain. Fuck that, I probably will.

And the epiphany now comes: "Eating the entire pint of Ben and Jerry's" is an example I legitimately used to describe gluttony. An extreme dietary faux pas. For fuck's sake, seriously? My god... what has become of me. 2 pints, whatever. This is spiraling out of control. A plain metaphor gone horribly awry with a The-View-esque reference to ice cream. How boring and out of touch have I become that I use a metaphor not fit for cretins.

Nonetheless, it looks like, at least from the trash I saw on the steps, that Ben and Jerry's is bringing back my second favorite flavor of ice cream... the cinnamon ice cream and oatmeal creampie.

Second epiphany: my life is boring and depressing if I take pictures of this shit.

Third epiphany: my life is exciting and wonderful if I get me some of that ice cream.