la la la, Unicorns LA

Problems with porn these days

Someone has some problems with porn these days.

I'm going to go ahead and agree with most of this, especially the part about enthusiasm. Seriously, you're actors, if not bad ones -- at least bad act.

Pornographers, take your porn seriously. If it's amateur, I suppose that's fine -- but that's the allure of amateur porn: the fantasy that this may in fact be two people who actually want to fuck getting it the fuck on. So if the chic just lays there, it's a little more ok, because if it's natural, that's just how she is. Let me not be so focused on how the woman is acting, though. So how should the guy act?

Guys should always be quiet in porn. Seriously, not a word. I'm willing to accept the occassional grunt, moan, or cough, but no more. If a hand slaps an ass or a sack slaps whatever the hell a sack slaps, I'll accept that, too. And if the cameraman says anything, ANYTHING AT ALL, he should be smote.

In sum, porn is more than watching people fuck. It's watching people fuck properly. It's watching people fuck with enthusiasm. Hell, I love my job, and sometimes I have a hard time showing it -- but Jesus, pornstars, you fuck for a living (or at least coke), try to fucking show it.

ladies

Clubbin

Who doesn't love some clubbin'?



Personally, I could probably go without it. I think a better pasttime would be skee-ball. Less moving around, and everyone gets to go at their own pace. Oh! And there'd be beer, lots of beer. But I think the track would have to longer so it felt a little more adult - and flat, because hills are for suckers. And of course the ball would be bigger, but a bigger ball would probably need holes. And there'd be gutters, and shoes, and a little machine that blows air for no apparent reason. And there shouldn't be as many fuckin' kids -- that's what the seals are for.

And we'd all get laid.

Right to remain silent

It's two days before the oral defense of my comprehensive exams, and I find myself reading this article.

I think it's facinating how simple the techniques are. Yet we respond to stress in such complex ways. Nearly 80% of all people waive their right to remain silent, and thus undergo a complete interrogation. Four out of every five. I think, you think, your brother thinks, your father and your mother thinks that they can beat the interrogation -- innocent or guilty. Only one is smart enough to keep their mouth shut.

It's two days before my oral defense, and I don't have the right to remain silent.

Lightning bolt