Show me that smile

The way of the master.

A sure fire way to induce vomiting.
I love it, I love it, I love it. It's like a scab. I have to pick at it, but then I just bleed more, and I don't heal. But, goddamnit, I need to pick that fuckin' scab.

Update:

Live in Pittsburgh

Ten tips on how to get into a sold out baseball game.

Sure this is a decent list.

The punchline...

The first comment: "11. Live in Pittsburgh."

Sigh. And I've been to more Yankee games than Pirate games. But I did see Jack Wilson at Yankee Stadium lay down the most amazing bunt in the 8th inning down 11-1 in the pouring rain.

Shock G's Assholes

Check out Shock G's (aka Humpty Hump's) assholes.



Clearly, I've no desire to do anything that I should be doing.

Alaska

Makes me wonder what role this guy would play. I would LOVE to see him as the next Cheney.

Web 2.0

Ok, my mom sent me this. And it's fucking cool.

Bloviate me.

Let me first take Bill out of context. But can you really trust people that use the term "bloviate?" Seriously, you're supposed to forget that shit right after the SATs.

Yes, Bill, bloviate all night... all night long.

I know nothing about journalism, but...
A journalist, Bill, would know what a disclaimer is. He would also know how weak the language is. He would know that when you say you're not doing something, it's probably because you're going to do it. You're absolutely right, you would never demonize someone -- you are such the victim of an attack by the Public Broadcasting System.
A journalist, Bill, would not advocate dissent then stop someone (e.g., a professor of journalism) from dissenting. But I suppose if you are simply defending yourself, which is all any man can do, we can't criticize you for it. Let's defend ourselves... and let's do so by taking the fight to 'em.
A journalist, Bill? Bloviate me.

Look at it from another point of view. Imagine you're running your show. You know who's going to be on. You know what they're going to say. After all, you invited them. Now, also remember that your audience is a reactionary one, and your numbers are based on fear mongering and sensationalism. Add to it the fact that your entire network has been accused to being biased... what better way to prove you otherwise than to "invite" someone to your show from your own network that "disagrees" with you and show your distemper. Show us how much you WILL NOT STAND FOR IT. Show us how much you care that your reputation is being attacked. Make the whole thing look like you're both the victim and strong, staunch defender of journalistic news, and you've just executed a coup d'truth. gg Bill.

8-ball

Can you handle the truth?

Bananas

Yesterday, I went to Big Y and bought all of their bananas.
All of them.
It cost $62.81.
I hate having expensive hobbies.

Kitty killin' ratios

I was impressed by this insight. Reminds me of my own analysis of Scooter.

You can't answer if you haven't heard it.

What happens when someone tries to respond with the same irrelevant answer to the sam identical question?

How hard is it to say no?

Trade in my bike for a shopping cart

I want to do this. I want enough free time to commit such an act. I want to build something.

I need something like a shopping cart. Garbage cans? Shoeboxes? Coathangers? Egg-cartons? Toiletpaper tubes?

All this thinking about doing shit makes me want to nap.

JEB!

Idolize Jeb.

Problem: you can't get degree.
Solution: rename the fucking school.

Been there.

23

Google's directions from New York City to Paris.

Thanks to Ben for this nugget. Made me laugh.

Riding with Bob Saget

Although, I must disagree. Mr. Rogers is the illest motherfucker in a cardigan sweater.

Chocolate bunny porn

Public speaking exercise

I used this exercise back when I taught public speaking. Although the contraption is nifty, it's much more 1. rewarding, and 2. degrading when I get to kick people in the nutties myself.

lurking

24 seconds.

Continuation and termination

The Internal Review Board uses the same form (the IRB-2) for the purpose of 'continuing review of a current research project' as well as 'termination of a current research project.' This logic baffles me.

Appropriate, my be the analogy to the courtesy flush. A flush may indicate there is more shit to come, or that the shit is all done.

Moreover, what logically exists in this world as both a signal to continue as a single to stop. Reconcile this one, bitches. In San Antonio, the waitstaff would periodically bring us our check because they were afraid we'd walk out on a giant tab. I guess this says, "Stop, but keep going."

But no means no. Why the fuck should I have to tell them that I'm done. I'm pretty sure people can tell when I'm done.

And, I'm pretty sure there's no one on staff staring at my IRB-1 forms saying, "OMFGWTFBBQ! He better not still be collecting data. Or, if he's done, he better not do any statistical analysis after April 13 unless he completes the IRB-2 and newly updated IRB-1." If this person is on staff, I'd prefer them trying to get stuff approved. But I'd also prefer to tell them to go to hell.

In sum, the question "are you done or you still going?" is a legitimate one, but the answer "yes" (i.e., the IRB-2) is unacceptable to me. Then again, under the list of acceptable things to you is rejecting a form that was "out-of-date" because the newest form has a single change -- a single checkbox was added to indicate if this research is "unfunded" which I'm pretty sure would have fallen under "investigator out-of-pocket."

This message is now terminated. Or continued.

luleelurah

make a name



I'd like to leave this masterpiece without comment. However...
The luleerah seems to become more festive each time you see it. And that is amazing.
I've never seen a more "DADAAAAAAAAAA" looking baby.
And this movie, and this song, never fail to make me smile.

...and it's Fallout Boy, err... Fall Out Boy. Falloutboy? Either way, ew... it's Fall Out Boy.

April Fool's Day

I shaved my head.