12 days, 16 hours

If you masturbate five minutes a day, every day, for ten years of your life, you will have spent 12 days and 16 hours of your life whacking off.

Pumps in a bump

Hammer has a push button controlled waterfall.
Hammer is wearing a banana hammock.
Hammer stiggity-steals his biggity-beats from Kriss Kross.
Hammer thought this beat was so good, it deserved to be played for 2 straight minutes with no lyrics.
Hammer has no fat friends.
Hammer says bump 142 times over the course of this song.
Hammer is still wearing a banana hammock.
Hammer's friends have 3 dance moves.
Hammer likes unnecessary clothes, like gloves with no fingers and vests.
Hammerpants come in denim.

My namesake

Go Gingersnap!

GO ALLEYCATS!